confidence

25 Quotes to Inspire Confidence

2014-09-29 By Monica 10 Comments

If you wish you felt more confident, you’re not alone. Everyone experiences fear and uncertainty at some point in their lives. Everyone has a lack of confidence about something. If you are striving to do new things or pushing your boundaries, it can be difficult to stay confident, even if you’re usually a confident person.

Unfortunately, confidence doesn’t just show up at your door one day, even though you may wish it would. In fact, confidence comes from trying new things, overcoming fear, and reaching for your dreams. [Read more…] about 25 Quotes to Inspire Confidence

8 Strategies to Climbing Your Own Mount Everest

2014-03-19 By Monica 1 Comment

“Why would anyone ever want to climb Mount Everest?” I thought to myself as my class on leadership began a case study of the skills it takes to climb the highest mountain in the world. It’s dangerous, cold, and uncomfortable. It would stretch you to your absolute outer limits, and in the end, you may not succeed.

That’s when I realized, we all have our own Mount Everests to climb. While your particular “Mount Everest” may not include literally climbing the highest mountain in the world, you are likely facing a challenge or obstacle, or pushing yourself to reach a goal that may be just as ominous.

Do You Feel Like You Have a Mountain to Climb?

Pushing ourselves to reach our dreams or to overcome obstacles can feel just as overwhelming as climbing a mountain. It can be uncomfortable, stretch us to our outer limits, and it can be dangerous – at least psychologically. We make ourselves vulnerable when we reach for our dreams, and there’s always the chance that we might fail. [Read more…] about 8 Strategies to Climbing Your Own Mount Everest

4 Tips for Fearless Living – Finally Achieve Your Dreams

2013-01-20 By Monica 2 Comments

Overcoming Your Fear “He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.” ~Emerson

You know the feeling – it may be a tightening up of your body, sweaty palms, or nagging thoughts of self doubt before you start something new. We’ve all experienced fear in our lives at one time or another and it’s likely that the more often you challenge yourself , the more often you feel fear. Feeling fear can also make us feel intensely alive at times such as when we’re climbing a mountain or when we’re getting ready to give a presentation or perform on stage.

When fear keeps us from doing the things we really want to do in life, that’s when it becomes a problem. Fearless living is taking steps out of your comfort zone in order to achieve a goal, opening yourself up to new possibilities, and overcoming your fear to allow yourself to grow in the direction of your dreams. Here are four tips to help you live fearlessly:

1.) According to Raphael Kushnir, author of The One Thing Holding You Back and Surfing Your Inner Sea, to move through fear, you need to feel your fear and bring your attention to it. This will bring you into the present moment. The harder you try to resist the feeling, the more power it will have over you and can even run your life. Being in a state of fear causes a constriction in your entire body, it “shuts you down” and can keep you from moving forward. Kushnir says there are two steps to feeling your emotion:

To experience an emotion, place your attention directly on the sensation it produces in your body.
Keep your attention on that sensation until it either dissipates or changes.

2.) Remember, feelings of fear are normal, even for the most confident CEO’s, public speakers, and accomplished people in the world. Chances are, they still feel moments of fear. Their secret is in their response to the fear: they don’t let it stop them from pursuing their dreams. When you are successful, the fear doesn’t go away when you try something new or different. It can get easier to manage your response to the fear with practice.

3.) Love yourself fully and make a commitment to “being in love” with life. John Lennon says it so eloquently in his quote about love and fear:

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.” ~John Lennon

If you struggle with loving yourself, a simple Flylady mantra you can practice is to breathe in and say, “I love“. When you breath out say, “myself.” You’ll feel a bit silly at first but this really does work. You can also begin practicing extreme self care. Each day, do something nice for yourself.

4.) Think about your fear rationally for a moment and realize the “worst case scenario” is never as bad when you look at things logically. Sometimes it helps to write your fears down so you can be more objective. When you face your fears, you make them manageable and you can make plans to help you mitigate your fears.

My friend was recently concerned that he might be losing his job in the near future. Some of his co-workers had already been let go and the company was having financial difficulties. When he stopped coming from a place of fear, he realized that he had options and that if he did lose his job, it might prompt him to start the business he wanted to start. He also became more focused at work which made him more valuable and less likely to be selected if additional lay-offs were necessary. While losing his job wasn’t something he wanted, he realized he would be ok regardless of what happened. Facing his fear allowed him to move forward in a positive way.

How do you overcome fear? What tips or tactics work best for you? Share your thoughts below.

3 Ways You May Be Undermining Yourself With Your Own Words

2011-08-07 By Monica 2 Comments

“Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs.” ~Pearl Strachan

Are you undermining yourself, both personally and professionally with your very own words? I know I’ve been guilty of it myself, more than once. I was fortunate to have a friend point it out to me so I try to be more conscious of my word choice. I have seen women in the workplace especially do this, but they’re not the only ones. Men can also fall victim to self sabotage.

Discrediting Yourself

Anytime you make a statement or give an opinion followed by something that discredits your own idea, you are sabotaging yourself. Take for instance, a message that I received this week from an educated, intelligent, and savvy businesswoman who was giving me feedback on a document that I asked her to review. She listed some excellent suggestions but then followed them with, “Maybe these comments are too late..if so, no problem, they were just fussy little things anyway.” There was nothing fussy about her suggestions, and yet, with one comment, she discredited her own ideas.

Your thoughts, opinions, and suggestions have value. Give them the credit they deserve by stating them confidently without minimizing their importance. You will find that others will value what you have to say, when you see your own value.

The “I’m Sorry” Statement

Apologizing when you’ve done something wrong is never a bad thing. However, overusing the “I’m sorry” statement shows a lack of self confidence. If you say you’re sorry for every little thing, you are taking the blame for things that aren’t your fault.

The “I Think” Statement

Do you preface your opinions with, “I think” or “I guess” rather than just stating them with confidence? Both statements produce doubt in your mind and in your listener’s about the opinion you are about to voice.

So how do you eliminate these bad habits and improve your communication?

1. Awareness The first thing is to become aware of the words you choose and how you use them. Once you are aware, you can catch yourself when you slip up and correct it. You can only change a habit when you have this awareness.

2. Challenge yourself to speak for 15 or 30 minutes without using self-sabotaging language. It can be more difficult than it sounds, but it does get easier.

3. Improve Your Confidence Work on improving your overall confidence by loving and accepting yourself. Let go of the fear and trust yourself and your instincts. You will be more confident and it will show when you speak.

What are some ways that you or others use self-sabotaging language? What techniques do you use for effective communication? I’d love to hear them. Please comment below.

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